JUDY EMERSON Author and Personal Coach

You know what to do.

Do I have to?

You want to be a slug all your life?

No, but….

Just look at yourself!

Yeah…. But….

You’re a mess.

I know. (hangs head)

You’re a disaster!

Silence.

Get yourself together!

I don’t….

There’s no excuse for you!

Silence.

I’m ashamed of you.

Silence.

Seriously, you’re impossible….

Silence.

I give up on you.

Silence.

(walks away)

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

I know I’m a mess…. but I’m more than that.

Silence.

Aren’t I?

Yes.

But why can’t I change?

Silence.

Why?

You haven’t been ready.

I’m sorry….

I know. Who do you want to be?

But… I can’t.

Who told you that?

They said….

Are they here?

Well, no.

Do they know who you really are? On the inside?

Wrinkles forehead.

All That You are?

They wouldn’t like all that.

So, you don’t show it to them.

Well, they’d laugh.

Maybe.

Cringes.

I know all of you. And I’m not laughing.

I’m sorry….

And I love all of you.

But…. I could never….

Why not?

Because…. what are the odds, really?

So, you’re giving me statistics?

Well, I have never have….

Not yet. But I see what you hide inside.

My potential? I don’t do anything with that.

You’ve come farther than you think.

I don’t know about that.

And I see all that’s waiting inside of you.

But I don’t… follow through.

Why, do you think?

I… stop myself.

Why, do you think?

I’m afraid.

What are you afraid of?

They wouldn’t like what I’d say. Wouldn’t like ME.

Because….?

Because they didn’t before.

So, how far back does that go?

Well…. Decades.

So, you’ve been holding it inside….

For decades.

There’s a lot of good stuff in there.

That I haven’t let out.

And how’s that working for you?

It feels stuck.

Stuck. Is that okay?

No! It feels terrible!

So… what would you like better?

If I wasn’t so afraid… of what they thought.

What would you need for that?

Ha! Courage.

Fear would probably still be there though.

But courage isn’t the absence of fear.

Right.

It’s knowing the fear and doing it anyway.

Right. You already knew that.

Yeah. I’ve been still listening to the old opinions.

The critics.

Yeah.

From so long ago?

Yeah. Are they on your side?

No.

Do they care about you?

Well, they’re mostly dead….

Hmmm.

Their opinions are expired.

Exactly.

It’s the Itty Bitty Shitty Committee. Sorry.

In your head?

Yeah.

 You’re still listening to that stuff?

Too much.

Who’s the boss of you?

Me!

Yep.

They need to shut up.

Who’s going to make them?

Me! They’re just in my head.

Sounds right.

I need to quit listening to them.

What will you listen to instead?

Somebody that’s actually on my side.

Somebody who cares about you?

Yeah!

Well, I care about you.

I forget that, a lot.

I know. You’re remembering now, though.

I need reminders.

Like everybody.

Sigh. Really?

Sure. Anybody else on your side?

Deep breath. Yeah.

And how about you?

What do you mean?

Are you on your own side?

Eeesh. I haven’t been.

Well, that’s one option.

I want to be, though.

What stops you?

Only me. I stop myself.

Why, do you think?

I’m still listening to old stuff.

What does that do for you?

For me? Nothing.

Not helpful?

Makes me abandon myself.

And how does that feel?

Scary. Sad. Hurt. Ashamed. Alone.

Silence.

Silence.

But you’re not alone now. I’m here.

Yeah. You are.

I’m on your side. Always have been.

Always?

Every second.

And you see the real me?

Sure. I’m your biggest fan.

Oh, God.

Yep.

Do you see my potential?

Sure. It’s how I made you.

Do you think I really can….

Absolutely.

But I still get scared.

Sure.

But you’re here?

Always. Never left. Never leaving.

How will I be brave enough?

Courage is a gift.

From you?

You’re paying attention, now.

I haven’t paid very much attention to you.

For a while.

But you’re still here?

Still.

You didn’t turn your back?

No. Sometimes you do.

Yeah. I guess I do.

Makes it hard to see the gifts I’m holding out to you.

Like courage.

Yeah. It’s right here.

And love. I love you.

You know what trouble I have trusting that.

I know.

I need to accept it. I need to use it.

The courage. And the love.

You can do it.

But what if I fail?

Everybody does.

Then what?

Then you take another step.

But…. I won’t know….

Nope. I’ll help.

I can’t see ahead. I can’t see the big picture.

Can you see the ground you stand on?

Deep breath. Yeah.

Can you move one foot?

Yeah. I can do that.

And another step after that?

That’s not much.

Just one step at a time.

It’s so slow, though.

You can pace yourself. Take your time.

Stay with me, though.

Sure. Every step.

All the way?

To infinity, and beyond….

-Judy Emerson

If you haven’t read my books or my blog, check them out!

-J